Testing the nNPE

Hi again, today I am going to talk to you about MY first look on the new New Player Experience (NPE from now on). This article is going to feature CLEAR text division into PARTS so people don't GET LOST,
Since most of my readership consists of incompetent retards (using the data from incoming donations - out of thousand views nobody has actually figured out how to do it) it will also feature a piece of "how to do it yourself" kind of thing, because google is a myth, and modern gangta nigga biatches do not go for myths.

First a little background:
NPE is a very popular aspect of selfmarketing for people with Miroslav Hebky komplex and is also a hot topic all over the place of dem EVE forums and elsewhere.
CCP has been striving long and hard to improve it, while there were camps of naysayers saying nay (and also wtf is this shit) to it.
It is considered vital to the survival of the game, because everyone who wants to can sub by plex and newbs don't have ISK resources to buy plex, so they offer cash. So more newbs staying in the game and subbing by cash means more cash, and CCP runs on cash. Cash is good. More cash is the goal.

Now all about it:
You can read all about it in the appropriate devblog. If you would like to read this copy pasted on a white background I suggest evenews24. They are a good at that sort of stuff.

Now, how do you do this thing?

If you did not read that dev blog or you are still figuring it out, cause you are retarded follow these overly complicated steps:

Step one:
To hang out with the cool kids trying it out, you go to a test server! How do you go on a test server? Well you fucking read this CCP walkthrough. Cause accessing test server has never been easier (ok, yes maybe in the days where there was only a test server, yes I know, fuck you)

Step two A:
To gain the perfect experience (read real rookie ship shit, which is now renamed to corvette, kind of experience) you should start a new character. But you don't have to.

Step two B:
You can also just login on any character and receive a broadcast from your faction FC representative. (look it's a picture, yes it shows exactly what I described. no it is not a new character.) The tutorial sites are accessible through mission-like interface with set desto/warp in points of reference. Use /moveme command to get close to your destination should you be null sec gangsta king.

You obviously tried it, so how is it, what are your thoughts?
I think the new NPE is a potential bliss to a new player. It really shows a commendable amount of effort in enabling mentally disabled individuals to play this game. And that is a good thing. Cause it's 2016 and you should not discriminate against anyone through difficult mechanics, for everyone deservers an equal opportunity being male, female or shemale, being autistic or not and so on. (Actually EVE is a place where people with certain kinds of autism may thrive, cause of all the numbers, logic and stuff. Put your genius kids there for babysitting, watch EULA adapt to them)

As for me as a player that would dare call himself established I say it's fucking boring, long, slow and such. The pace and progress seemed to me as a rather fixed slow mo rate kind of thing. Which is good you know, baby steps, take things slow, EVE is hard, take your time all that.
So no, it is not a great experience for someone who knows how, and it will eventually become the suffering any new toon that would like to grab those newbie bonuses will have to go through, like career missions, which are good for your faction standings btw. (Which used to matter b4 citadel hubs, fuck all of you who devoted effort to it)

Final, important notes on how to enjoy this nNPE well
Take note: I did not finish the nNPE myself, because I got caught on a progression impeding bug. And I strongly advise you, DO NOT do things, before you are told to do them.
I for one have redeemed items as soon as they were available, and fuck me, I was not told to do that yet, and now I am told to do that and wow, I can't. (does not work even if you buy a skin and redeem it, you have to redeem exactly the same thing and you can't, so fuck you)

Why should you (THE MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE ofc) bother testing?
Because if  you do get fucked by these things (like I got) you can go f12 and submit a bug report. Nobody is going to thank you, because people can hardly thank you for a fuck up you caught on to, because they will never encounter it, cause it will be fixed. But you will make New Eden a better place.
This is also going to be what a newb in EVE is going to struggle with or will have experienced from now on. It is good to get into, so you know what you will be dealing with.

Recruitment clause:
Whether you survive the nNPE or not, you might have what it takes to join UKINC! Because UKINC is recruiting.